Whatever I feel like posting, re-blogging, or talking about! There are some NSFW things on here.
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(If you are a porn blog, DO NOT FOLLOW ME!!! I'm tired of blocking you people! This DOES NOT include art blogs, or writing blogs with suggestive content!)
long distance mutuals <- used to be in the same fandom together and have both moved on to other fandoms but stay mutuals and wave at each other when passing by (scrolling on dash) and catch up when we can (liking each others posts)
She manages to escape from the infirmary while John is sleeping, suppressing what guilt she feels when she makes it plain to Carson that she intends on leaving whether he clears her to do so or not – and whether he wishes to argue about it or otherwise. He yields (Elizabeth promises herself that she will apologise at a later date) and she retreats, first to quarters that suddenly feel too small, where she stares blankly at walls and up at the ceiling, then to the idle roaming of quiet corridors, before she finds that she needs fresh air and to see more of the sea and the sky than windows will permit.
Though she would like to, she refuses to slink her way through the control room, and instead plasters in place an equilibrium that she does not feel, pretending quite as if nothing has happened and that she does not feel the slightest bit of regret about what has happened. Conversation, she mercifully manages to avoid, for she is not ready to hear anyone suggest that it was not her fault and not her actions, and not her anything while it is all still too fresh, her body aching and voice hoarse from screaming (also not hers) when she attempts to lift it too far above a murmur.
The balcony brings moonlight and the sound of the ocean, and she does not stray as far as the railings, but tucks herself close to the wall, hoping that anyone who opens the door will not notice her, and so assume that she is elsewhere.
Request: Hello! I hope that you are doing well today!(and forever of course) I was wondering if I could get a scenario where trip tucker gets comforted by s/o when he is stressed or feels a bit down? Take your time and take care!!! - Anon
John’s Mother, Self Sacrificing, and Why He Doesn’t Have Any Scars
I do a lot of thinking while I’m driving, some of my best thinking actually – shush! I do pay attention to the road.
One day, I was thinking about John’s Mom, and why his relationship with his Dad was so strained. Thinking about the trope that John’s Mom died giving birth to him, his Dad blames him for his wife’s death, etc. This headcannon was okay for a time. But, I thought of a better one.
John’s Mom died saving him by sacrificing herself. I’m not sure how, maybe driving, maybe horseback riding, maybe flying, or maybe John wasn’t paying attention and almost walked into a hole or fell in a river. But I think she did this, and John’s Dad always had some form of resentment for it, hence the trying to control John’s life, and planning it all out for him. Keeping him away from the things he had in common with his Mom.
This is not about John’s Dad though, it’s about John. Who grew up knowing his Mom gave up her life to save his, since she loved him and wanted him to live a long fulfilling life. This planted a seed in him, “The ones you love and their lives are always going to matter more than yours.”
Now I’m not going to disregard that John knows that he should try to live his life because of what his Mom did, and live it to it’s fullest, and do things he enjoys. That is what he did, he loves flying, so instead of sitting at a desk in some office building he’s flying F-16s, V22 Ospreys, helicopters, Puddle Jumpers, Ancient War Ships, and Atlantis. However, John grew up having to learn to that his happiness and emotional well-being was being ignored, and dismissed by his father, and probably his brother too but maybe to a lesser extent. This is textbook avoidant attachment style in childhood, and even as an adult John exhibits many signs of it. If you are interested here is a link. John is a bit of a weirdo (and I say this in a good way ‘cause fuck rich people and their snobby selfish behaviour), in the rich people social circles so maybe he didn’t have that many true friends who actually cared for him, just the image or mask he had to put on to fit in. John grew up knowing that he could only trust himself with his feelings, and emotions. That confiding in other people was always a risk to be hurt. As time goes on, if John tried to put trust in others in friendship or love, and was more or less betrayed in some way after being emotionally vulnerable; he closed off. This is why I think John has such a hard time making friends, as we see him admit to Teyla in Sateda.
Now we have John as we see him in Atlantis, as weird and awkward as he can be he can also be cold and calculating, ready to make the hard choices and fulfill them himself if he needs to. He found his real home, and a family he loves, who have showed him that he can trust them (with most things, I think hell would freeze over before he told any of them his feelings, with the exception of Kate who I think John sees as an unbiased professional but that’s another story). John is stuck between finally letting himself have a chance to be happy, enjoy his life as his Mom wanted him to, and loving these people and this alien city that lights up to his very presence. He loves them so much he would give his life for them so they can keep living. John has come full circle to what his Mom did for him. We see John sacrifice himself, or place himself in harms way many times – I want to add that this is not martyrdom that is when a group sacrifices one person for the lives of the many – John chooses to do this on his own terms and on occasion without telling anyone.
John has made himself out to be a physical and mental punching bag for the enemies of the Lanteans in Pegasus, sometimes literally. Okay, often literally, like seriously he gets hit a lot, and looks good doing it (seriously it’s so unfair how pretty he looks bloody like honestly). The episode Epiphany (this episode has good and bad points in it, and while I like every episode of SGA this is my least liked because of IRL stuff which I will rant about some day and I am sure others have too), centres around that group of people trying to ascend, some have abilities, probably due to presence of the ATA gene. John was healed several times by Hedda, which probably healed prior injuries and scars, John himself was pretty resistant to the whole meditation and ascension thing, he likes being corporeal, he can’t play golf or fly space ships as an ascended being right? The thing about brains though, and John’s brain with all his emotional compartmentalizing (some he is definitely aware of, and some he is not), is that brains do things to us without our consciousness even knowing about. Sometimes it’s called self sabotage, but in John’s case, what if, his constant want to give his life for people he loves – be their shield more or less – combined with his strong ATA gene, the meditation, and being around this group of people with abilities, triggered some kind of boosted healing ability? Not one large enough to show up on medical scans, or even noticeable enough for John to realize he has it. Just strong enough that over time his scars disappear, or wounds that should have killed him or 'caused him great pain or disability didn’t? I find it interesting to think that John Sheppard loves his home and his family so much, he subconsciously willed himself to be able to physically withstand injury, and potential death, so he could be there to make sure they always stayed safe. So I believe that, in this headcannon, he really is his Mother’s son.
[I know that John doesn’t have scars because it wasn’t in their budget but I like thinking there could be an in universe reason too :P]
[I also did not forget about Todd feeding on him, that is an entirely different thing, since Wraith drain life force it’s not a physical injury.]
Saying “I love you” without saying “I love you” — some ways your otp can silently express affection
Forehead kisses, and smiling through the kiss
Resting their forehead on the other’s after a kiss
Tucking strands of loose hair behind their ears, with a thumb caressing their cheek
Interlacing their fingers with the other’s when they least expect it
Sleepy back hugs when the other person is busy whipping up breakfast in the kitchen, catching them by surprise
Just doing their own things in the same space; being so comfortable around the other even in their pyjamas
Holding both their hands while holding their gaze gently, just before leaning in for a kiss
Switching positions with the other when walking down a busy sidewalk because your feel the need to keep the other safe
Being playfully clingy in the mornings when one has an off day and the other has to rush to work
Getting them something from the store when they only mentioned it in passing
When one is overseas for a work trip and everything they see reminds them of the other person (bonus: whenever it happens, they take a picture and drop the other person a text.)
Squeezing their hand reassuringly and holding their hand throughout an intense social situation (eg. a large school reunion which the more introverted person is dreading)
Kissing away their tears
^ and letting the other cry on their shoulder even when their t-shirt gets soaked from their tears
Meeting them where they are, mentally and emotionally; never forcing them to do anything they aren’t comfortable with
Wholeheartedly supporting their dreams, and putting that into action by making concrete plans for it to happen
Dropping the other person an encouraging text before an important interview/event
Surprising the other with flowers just because; no occasion and no reason needed
Picking the other person up from work when it’s getting late, and walking them right to their doorstep after
Good morning and goodnight texts
Making the other person a Spotify playlist with songs that remind them of their relationship and growth
Remembering the littlest of things — activities they like and dislike, favourite brands of stationery, go-to ice cream flavour, choice of popcorn
Writing little notes on post-its and leaving them in random pages of their textbook, so that they will get a little endorphin boost when studying
It is, she thinks, quite possibly the most awkward kiss in history.
She is exaggerating, of course, but there is no possibility of it being anything but awkward, in-front of friends, colleagues and strangers as it is, and she is already anticipating having to read more than one mention of it in the reports that this mission must generate. Elizabeth can only hope that no-one is especially creative in their description or dedicates themselves to particularly detailed commentary, though she is half-sure that Carson will send to her a draft that includes some teasing remarks that he has absolutely no intention of including in the version that he submits.
She tells herself that kissing does not mean the same thing to the people they are visiting; that there is nothing romantic about it whatsoever.
Still, it does not make it any easier to kiss John before an audience of more than a dozen, no matter how chaste an affair they manage to make it by some silent agreement in the moments before it happens.
